Thursday, February 3, 2011

at work

I'm at work with my laptop today. Had a salad with honey mustard which is so tasty. It was a clearance jar, and it's tiny, but sooo good. We didn't have any meat to put on it so I sliced up a hotdog. One link is 130 calories, with 110 from fat. I'll count it as the fat portion for today, obviously. Usually I ignore that one, but I can't respectably call that hotdog a protein, no way. I'll get extra meat at dinner or maybe some powder later.

I'm a day late on this week's workout schedule, but I am determined to do all the workouts, and my rest day will have just been used already. Then I'll be caught up for the new week on Monday. I wasn't feeling well last week. We took the 30 day photos. I can see absolutely no change in myself from day 1 to now. None. I looked really hard, and was even prepared to be optimistic about it (you know, maybe the thigh is a little bit slimmer? type of thing). No go. I actually think I looked chubbier, but the posture wasn't quite the same and the light was paler. I know the scale is not supposed to be any judge of this type of thing, but it had jumped back up to 125 and stayed there- which helped increase my bad feelings and why-do-I-even-bother mentality. Its since got back down the itty-bitty bit back down to 122ish clothed in regular jeans and such. I like that better.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to obsessive over this. I'm sure I'm not. But I was very disappointed not to see ANY change for 30 days (ok not really 30, but close!) of work. Hubby has noticeably lost weight. Of course, he has more to lose, so maybe that's why, plus he's male and I always hear the rumor that men lose weight faster and in better areas than women. So that's all.

Meanwhile I'm determined that this month will be better as far as sticking with the diet and schedule. Because really, one hour, sometimes an hour and a half, is not that long to devote into being healthier and hopefully getting a better body out of the deal. The diet is nothing dramatic, its what we've been taught already in grade school. Eat meats, and veggies, eat small several times a day, all that. I don't get ridiculously hungry at odd times of the day anymore, I don't usually have any cravings at all. Even my soda hankering has died down now, and I'll have a diet only when I feel like it, not because a want one. I sort of wanted chocolate during last week, but I knew it wouldn't really make me feel better- I just wanted anything that might do that, not the chocolate itself. And if Hubby had caved in and bought it for me, I'd have felt guilty later for eating it all.

I'm having a really hard time trying to decide what kind of cake to ask for for my birthday. Dump cake? Plain angel food? Hrmm.

I was wondering about the phase plan for this diet. Theoretically, you get one more carb (200 calories) and you replace a meat serving with it. Yay less protein I have to eat! Bread is just plain easier, you know? But then I've never been a big carnivore type.
Anyway, this exchange is going from a fat-shredder phase to an endurance phase. You're supposed to have more energy due to the extra carb, that you "bring it" more and thus get more out of your workouts at this point. Is it not an instantaneous type deal? I had an egg cheese croissantwich at the school one morning, and a regular sandwich for lunch, and didn't feel different. Of course maybe the hormonal deal might have just been overriding everything at that point. But even last night- I had a sub for lunch and a soft taco for dinner. Shouldn't I have felt good during Plyometrics? Instead i felt like the room was stifling hot, and I was getting worn out so easily. Maybe eating slightly off last week threw things into a wack, and I'm still getting back into a rhythm after that? (I remember that word used to give me SO much trouble- rhythm)
I've considered not moving to the next phase, although it would be easier to do. Maybe I'll ask advice of the company staff, they like to help out.
Meanwhile the car broke again, and the idea of coming home to workout earlier in the day between bus routes is now out the window. I'll have to just make sure I DO push play everyday and I'll admit, the 30 day photos looking just like the first day- is a big motivation for me at the moment.

I would talk about other things, but really there's not much else to talk about. I've ordered crates for Grunt and Jackjack, so they can lay in them between when we leave the house and the others wake up and come down. Grunt has been ornery when it comes to marking, or otherwise flooding the tile with yellow. Which is a very odd scenario in my mind, because several times he's done it, he had been taken out just before I left, and he should have known I'd be back in an hour. Now that I've not been able to come home, I'm not sure if he's stopped it, or if I just don't get told about it. I hope the first, but then does that mean I was causing him anxiety by coming home more often and therefor leaving more often? I wonder just how much was Grunt, and how much Jack might have contributed. Of course he never seems to pay attention to scolding, while Grunt appears to wish he could go dig the hole himself so he could crawl in and die if that would appease the angry mommy. He's really pathetic. But I was beyond infuriated at him too.

The car broke. It lost 3rd gear randomly. No loud noise, no weirdness, just I tried to go, and then I realized after a second that it got up to a certain speed, and then just whined higher and didn't go any faster. After a day of driving in second gear slowly back and forth, I got in at 5am and it didn't want to even play that game anymore. I can't blame it.

Um, I haven't finished the couch.

Today is thursday! Know how I know? I got in the bus this morning, turned the key.... and nothing happened. The kids of course are perfectly behaved this morning- if they had wanted to act up, I'm sure the bus wouldn't have. Stupid thursdays. Everything weird happens on Thursday regarding work.

Oh and email and facebook are boring. That is all.